Argghhhh that flippin person that has really been getting you down lately. That situation you just cannot stop thinking about. That thing that that happened at work, at an event, at home that is causing sooooo much stress.......
Throughout my life I have quite often got myself all wound up about something that seems so huge in the moment, maybe even for a few days / weeks / months. I think about it over and over and realise my shoulders are up to my ears with my own body tension I am causing with these constant thoughts rattling around. Why would they do that, say that, act like that. Why don’t we get on? Why did that happen, what should I do, this is a disaster, what if, but it’s just so frustrating....... Getting perspective in these situations isn’t easy for sure. Sometimes we are lucky enough to have some great people who can give some perspective and help alleviate the stress a bit during this time but what if you don’t have that person standing by right then?
How will it look in 3 years?
I was listening to an audio book a while ago about something similar and I heard the narrator say - ‘yes I understand, how will this look for you in 3 years do you think? She then went on to say.... try and think about something that happened or someone that said something that really stressed you out (maybe similar to this) this time 3 years ago ......I’m not talking the major life changing stuff but something that you just spent oodles of time stressing about...........I stopped the audio and started to think.
Firstly, I realised that I had to really dig deep to think of anything at all but I damn well know I would be stressing about something. Then, I eventually thought of something - that guy at work - ah ha - now that was certainly a chew on! But then I realised that the person I was so wound up about was no longer part of my life. I’d moved on from that job / that situation and actually not thought about them at all for probably 2 years and 5 months. Boom - why was I so stressed out about that!!!
Since that day I have been using this as my default setting during those times as I notice my shoulders start climbing up to my eyeballs or I realise I am in a whinge fest about something or someone.... Will this matter in 1 year, 2 years, 3 years? Is this a 1 minute stress a 10 minute stress? Do I give this a whole day of my mind and body’s attention? How much strain am I prepared to put on my body about this really!!! If it won’t matter in 3 years then its surely not going to shape who I am then - or right now. Sometimes this is instant relief - other times I have to really work at it and sometimes it doesn’t quite do it and I opt for some other tools in the kit bag but it’s worth a shot because if I can extend the happy moments, the calm moments and moments I am my true and vibrant self - by just 1 one mindset step at a time then I am all in.
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